Imports with bad English

Bad Translation

Back in the 50's we'd see German camera manufacturers include technical manuals that were quite poorly translated into English. Today European products seem to make it here (North America) with manuals that are more useful than entertaining. Fortunately, China has stepped into the gap left by Germany in the 1950s and Japan in the 1960s. We've collected a few of these here for your chuckling.

We were lookingfor a bit of relief from the mosquitos at the cottage and bought this cheap knock-off of the green Off coils. Now, of course, we're in a bind as the instructions tell us we must use it in a large well ventilated room but then tells us we can't use it indoors. That's OK; we find it nice just hanging there un-lit. The mosquitoes enjoy it more too.

Here's one brought to you by my friend Marcus Vichert. He took the picture at that Mac store on Eastern Ave. A bit of hi-tech for your dumb packaging enjoyment:

"No says just feeling". Well, I guess that says it all! Thanks!
Another one that Marcus found in a store in Montreal:
If anyone know what or who a Pocari is please let me know.

It's good to indicate the flavour, colour, smell or sound of a product but this blue candle (oddly not green) tells us that it is pine flavoured. They even had trouble getting the wrong right calling it taste.
It's my apron. Hmm. I guess that makes me...

Not even to explore the organisation of a well.
This one is hard to read so bears repeating:
"Facillitate Life Enjoy Your Life
Specially using for machine-wash. This bag can prevent your undeware or bra from damaging.
Sweet washing bag
Specially for under wares & stockings
Prevent from frame-changing
Product's material and operation instrodution
This product is made of Totolon,a Circle is
sewed inside which can prevent the shape
from being changed when you wash it in
the washing machine.
It is necessary to subject to the map to fold it
when wash it in the bag
two thirds of capacity of the net is enwgh,
put some laundry detergent on the most dirty
part, then put it into the bag. It is easy to
be cleaned ,and can save a lot of time
and labour, so called the precicns of lady."
There are no typos in the preceding text. That's what's on the package.

I've alway's wanted my own precicns of lady.
The Magic Laundy Balls! This was our first and is still our favourite.

The front of the package is harmless enough, except for reversing the order of their photos but the instructions on the back are truly rich. I especially like the recommendation that 4 balls be used when they are sold in a package of 3. Kind of like the 8 hot-dog and 6 bun conspiracy I think. It's like that "grassy knoll" thing.
Bibulousness! Imagine that. How have most of you lived without this incredible item so far? The claims are pretty great. Antibacterial eh?
.
Webster's says:
I work in an IT department where we find good technical instructions are invaluable. This isn't :

Look, we got a new teapot! This isn't as outrageous as as some of these others but it's still pretty silly:

I'm still waiting for the functions to multiply.